"...no dead end in sight..."

quick before work

I've been doing the treadmill for approximately six days and tonight is my twofer. As in, I worked out this morning, but I also have to work out tonight so I can shower tonight so I don't wake pookie up tomorrow with the hair dryer. I also get to sleep in until 6 AM tomorrow morning :D

Let's see...there was something else I was going to update about but I forgot. OH. Picking up pills tonight - that wasn't what I was going to say but I forgot so here it is - and the expensive pills they allege will fix my colon are only going to be like $65. HOORAY, TYVM INSURANCE. That's still going to be a disgusting pill bill with my BC thrown in but it's better than the $200 I thought they would be without insurance stepping in and DOING THEIR JOBS. Hm. 

Also today I'm starting my final research paper for this stupid class. We're all in Week 6 and the message boards have gone eerily quiet because I think everybody is too busy FREAKING OUT over our final, which opened yesterday, to post anything relevant. I'm pretty sure I'm going to make like a 30 on the final but I'm still going to study hard and hope to at least kick it in the butt with both feet.

Also today I'm rescheduling my gastrointestinal appointment for next month. And calling the rats' vet to go ahead and take them both in this Saturday. I was just going to take BrenRat but last night when I was cuddling with them PetPet started sneezing and I thought OH SWELL. So they're both going to get dosed.

Hopefully I can still have lunch with Laurie From Work, because she is pretty awesome :D but today is also one of those Crazy Meeting Days so we'll see -_-

Work awaits, yall, so I will probably update more latah~

lunchtime

I'm eating lunch and it must be pretty windy outside. This little guy flew all the way up here to sit on the windowsill:

Hey there, buffafly!

hilarity during MSA app

I'm applying online for the University of Phoenix. A little annoyed that I don't get scholarship money from being a married white woman who already has a bachelor's degree who wants to further my education. I'm not gay, a little person, have some debilitating autoimmune disorder, a minority, a single mother, or space alien, so I get no scholarship, apparently. For the first time evar I feel really discriminated against.

Why can't we all just level the playing field? Who cares what color you are (or, even worse, if you have a sob story [just like everyone else] that you've managed to "overcome"? OMG I HAVE A HANGNAIL I NEED MONEY FROM THE HANGNAIL SCHOLARSHIP FUND PLZKTHX)? I think they should ask two basic things: 1) an identification number; 2) stats of how smart you are. No backstory, no excuses as to why you couldn't succeed the first time, no quotas, no nothing. Smart people should be rewarded for being smart, and stupid people should be given the tools to make themselves smarter. No exceptions. BAM.

Maybe everyone should get awarded a set amount of government assistance, regardless of income or religion or number of freckles, based solely upon their GPA (or equivalent, if they didn't graduate high school and got a GED or similar), and of course they would have the option to refuse the money if their parents could afford it. 

Maybe those who don't have high enough GPAs but still need the money the most (or those who are brilliant, get the money, but it's not enough - say, those applying for medical school) could sign a contract that, upon their graduation, they will commit to (x) many years of government work in their chosen field to pay the government back for the cash, in a location of the government's choosing based on communities' need? Wouldn't that be easier than just saying HERE PEOPLE TAKE MONEY? It would be rewarding the community and getting kids educated, all in one fell swoop.

NOT ALL SMART PEOPLE GO TO COLLEGE EITHER. I am not aligning intelligence with that silly piece of paper, although look around and realize that society sure does. I think some of the smartest people I've ever met work in blue-collar technical jobs, and some of the dumbest walk around with doctorates. Also, there is a difference between being ignorant and being stupid. Ignorance is when you recognize your stupidity and realize it can be fixed with education. True stupidity is terminal.

Also, I'm really annoyed that I didn't have the sense to get pregnant in high school so I could get scholarship money to reward me for being careless and/or promiscuous years later. It's not having a live human baby out of wedlock, it's an investment in your future! *thumbs up :D

I'm willing to apply for essay-type stuff but in the grand scheme of things considering the thousands of applicants it looks like this is going to be a huge student loan that will hopefully get paid back when I kick the CPA exam in its mighty brass cojones and land an awesome job someplace. I want to start the Saturday after Labor Day and hopefully that will happen.

Determination is one thing, but realizing I can't continue succeeding in my current career path is more along the lines of desperation. I've got to do something about it, though, or it's my own fault if I'm unhappy.

storming days of summer

Glorious weekend! In which I knock out some major stuff and may have time left over for a creative project or two.

This week was pretty awful but Friday made up for it by being pretty sweet. Also I have made some internal decisions regarding my career and I will not back down. The best part is that my lovely husband is behind me 100%...although granted I think he is knowing that I will try my hardest not to make any stupid irrational spur of the moment decisions. No guarantees :D

I had a gigantor-sized Diet Coke at lunch yesterday and came home last night absolutely wired and did a whole ton of laundry, cleaned, etc. I must have been up until eleven-ish last night just getting stuff done. It was a really great feeling that carried over into this morning. I used Freedom for Mac at about 7 AM to turn my internet off, and realized 1) I could get a crapton accomplished; and 2) I am probably really addicted to the internet. Even consciously knowing it would not work, I still walked over and sat down in front of it two or three times, moved the mouse around to turn off the screen saver, and had that two seconds of "...." before I realized that the intarweb would not magically come back just because my mind willed it to.

ALSO I went to Target today and spent eleventy billion dollars on stupid crap. It was awesome :D My remaining bonus cash is safe in a little envelope marked Car Stereo because I realized I really want an ipod jack in my car to play the awesome musics but it's going to end up being probably like $300. I had a moment today where I was going to go and just do it, eff the cost, but then thought that part of being a grown-up is anticipating the worst and saving monies. Yuck.

Of course, that didn't stop me from buying awesome junk later...just not $300 worth of stereo and installation. Here is some of it:

The new overpriced slipcover :D Which makes the couch look less blue stripes and more misshapen. Also come to find out the orange throw blankie is not quite coordinating with this color. The slipcover packaging calls it "cinnamon". I call it "light to medium brown".


The cutest babeh tape dispenser, like, evar!!1! It is so, so precious.

This is what I am going to be using starting Monday to carry my adorable bento to work in!
It looks a lot more purple-y in real life - this is a Thermos/Raya container that I believe is supposed to be used to carry the mass of approximately 6 Coke cans, but I found out that it will fit what I am using as a bento container (my Fit and Fresh container) perfectly. OH PLUS they have adorable insulated tote bags in a couple of different sizes at the store to match the above pattern, as well as several other colors aside from what is on the website, so if I ever wanted to take pookie to the beach (or just to the lake, which I think would be less of a craptastic drive) I could buy a coordinating purple-y tote to carry our cold yummies in.

The world is getting into back-to-school mode, which is why I am going to stay away from major retail outlets that sell clothing or school supplies for the next month or so. I frown upon the general public for various reasons; today's reason involved whiny children not getting omg exactly what they wanted liek omg right now. I am so sick of the overindulged "WHY WON'T YOU BUY ME THIS" whining and "Mom! Mom! MOM MOM MOM MOM OMG MOM YOU HAVE TO ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW EVEN THOUGH I AM LIKE ELEVEN AND YOU ARE IN A CONVERSATION WITH ANOTHER ADULT MOM MOM MOM" BS. 

If I'd acted like that when I was old enough to know better I would have gotten taken down a couple of notches, regardless of whether we were in public or not. My mom was not the type to just up and buy me stuff because I wanted it, and as a result, I think I valued my plastic tangibles more. Each one of them had a name and a story, and instead of constantly wanting more and more I GASP USED MY IMAGINATION imagine that. Oh but plus my toys were awesome, by the way.

Granted, I don't hate kids or anything. A lot of the time I think they are precious, brilliant little things and their rapidly-growing brains need nourishment and interaction to keep them sharp. I just do not like the way parents seem to think that if they ignore their sprog's high-pitched wheedling that suddenly it doesn't exist, and therefore isn't a disruption to other people shopping nearby. 

OH or kids who are babehs and upset-slash-crying and are being ignored by the parents, as if that will make the crying just stop. I think there has got to be a way to interact, to let them know their behavior is unacceptable. Although then again, I have dealt firsthand with a two-year-old who thinks she wants that toy from the Disney Store LIEK OMG RIGHT NOW and can't be convinced otherwise (ahem...my sister lol who is now a teenager, and has grown out of this, for the most part XD) and I understand that when kids are that age they are heinously irrational, like small adorable screechy animals. 

So I guess I can't judge. I'm not going to jinx it and say mine and pookie's kids will be perfect angels, but I am pretty sure we are not putting up with that bullcrap.

Enough ranting from me - I took a huge nap today so I am going to see what else I can get accomplished. Have a fantastic weekend! Tomorrow is going to be outlet malling with the Sashaface and then coming home and cooking (lol I almost typed cookies. Maybe that's a sign)!!

iceplant and // dusty miller yellow flowers in the // sun over the // hills

The little house two miles from the office is back on the market again. It's not in a great neighborhood, but the lot next to it is empty and I could just picture a big ol' picket fence around the whole lot of it. It's not that it's a great place, but that it has potential, and that's the part that thrills me a little. But lately maybe it's the feeling of discontent but I don't think it suddenly being for sale again is a sign. I think it's more of a warning. Sure, it would be easy to tack on a mortgage, start renovating the sucker. But then we'd be stuck, and sitting with my back to a window day after day is starting to run pale for me. And again, a lot of little things would have to happen in a particular order for me to be okay with that fateful shift in our lives.

So no. It's a no-go. Until all the little ducks line up in a row, in their proper order, I will try rather hard to repress that part of me that is really wanting it, because it would end badly. I know this, logically.

I've been putting myself out there and I can only hope that someone calls me back. It's just being really anxious and unhappy day after day and the only thing I can do is keep on truckin.

I got a Twitter account here. So follow meh? I guess?

I had a horrible dream last night that I'd accidentally hurt Rudie and when I woke up she was laying on the floor happy to see me and greet the day and I had a good squishy snuggle waiting for her. I love my little cat. I don't know where my head is sometimes when I'm asleep.

I talked with one of my dear aunties and she is going to be out in SoCal with my Mammaw August - Sept. OMG, so envious. I looked online for flights but it's like $400 a person. We could swing that, but I feel like holding onto my cash right now. Even though the ocean and the blue sky and the smell of roses by the pool is calling me....argh. It's so hard to be a grownup. But I know the minute that money gets spent on something frivolous, something happens. That's just how life is, I spose. Lame!!

This post will be written out of order, as I just remembered what I was going to post about. I remember a lot of stuff while I'm working out, you see.