I had a moment this morning where I thought, you know what, given everything I think things have turned out pretty well. We are just fine.
It was a pretty surreal moment of being content and optimistic and disregarding the other paths that could have been taken. I still say everything happens for a reason.
Time to get ready for work...! Just thought I'd share.
I know it's been awhile since I've updated - things have been nuts! Springtime is definitely not a good blog-updating time for an accountant. I have a ton of things I want to talk about but unfortunately I left all my blog topics on a yellow post-it note sticking to my desk at work in my haste to get out of there this afternoon x.x; WHY HELLO FRIDAY ILY.
The earthquake, tsunami, and subsequent potential nuclear crisis in Japan have made me so heartbroken. This was going to be where we went for our honeymoon when we could save up money to have one. We were going to take a train up the coast and enjoy all the culture and food and the great Japanese people...and now it's just gone in some really great places. I keep the BBC and the NHK news feeds on all day at work, just to watch the updates and hope and pray that they get the supplies they need - so many have died and so many families are torn apart. They keep showing families reading the lists of who's dead, who's still alive. I can't stand watching people cry.
We started going to a local church on Wednesdays. It's not worship, but just an adult bible study class. We've been going for about two months and have started to get comfortable with the people there. I asked them this past week if anyone knew of a project we could do - gathering blankets, or bottled water, or something besides just donating money to an organization. I'd want to go and hand out food or something myself, but for work and my passport is expired x.x; So I have this heavy feeling of wanting to do something or be somewhere and all I can do is keep going to my job each day and working my hardest so maybe when a project becomes available I can contribute. (Or the next time I get paid I can donate some money, at least.)
On top of all of this weighing on my heart on Monday my crown came out. (Which I swore three weeks ago was loose but the dentist said was still attached to my face.) I was eating rubbery elbow mac at home for lunch and went "oh god x.x". I asked them about a dark spot on the tooth behind the one with the crown, and after some poking they filled a tiny cavity - no anesthesia! I'm such a hoss - and stuck it back on. Thankfully they didn't charge me to reattach the crown, and the charge for filling the cavity was so minimal that I can pay it off in a few paychecks.
In addition to wanting to pull my hair out from continuously managing to screw up at work, this week has been a myriad of stress eating and waking up super early and not being able to get back to sleep, like 1 AM early or 4 AM early, or because of the time change waking up when my second alarm goes off at 6:30 feeling like I haven't slept at all.
There are other things I want to talk about, too, but I have to upload a bunch of photos off of my phone. Because what's an update without photos, right? Right.
I think about how much worse things could be. In one of the blogs I read online, the woman's husband just had a stroke. They're not old people and even though he just got out of the hospital he is a long way from fully recovered. I can't imagine the strength that she needs to take care of him, and the depth of their love for her to be so patient and so kind in their hour of trial and crisis.
I sat around worrying for days about South Korea in the absence of real stateside adversity. I almost wished a worst-case scenario, some sort of political hullabaloo, something to distract from the monotony of daily life, when in fact twenty-four hours later we are faced with our own challenge. This isn't life-threatening illness, and we still have a home to come home to. And when given that we are both healthy and able after reading about the trials of other couples I feel guilty about even considering grumping around about our own situation. A very small part of me wishes to pout but it is the overwhelming desire to be there for him and take some of his burden that crushes this, that says how dare you think when I start to become gloomy. And I tell myself two things: 1) It's not the end of the world; and 2) It could be much, much worse.
This week is also going to be full of challenges for me at the office. There are several reasons why I hate taking days off from work, holiday or otherwise, and this is one of them. But I know I have the capability to be my best if I will allow myself to rise to this.
I feel ultimately that In the Grand Scale this isn't even really something so dire as to call it a crisis. It's a temporary thing. We will have one income for a little while and then again, eventually, we will have two. It's just getting over or around the speed bump that seems so daunting until it is far behind and then it will seem like nothing more than an anthill back on the path.
Today is Wednesday, a lovely day! In which I am determined to get things shipshape! And of course, since duty calls and I must work on Friday so lots and lots of people can get a paycheck (including myself XD ahem), I am taking today off instead. Glorious!
In trying to recap what has been going on lately I can't really sum up the life experience so I will just go about it anecdotally and hope it will suffice.
I have been on a mad ebook kick spawned by the saving of lots of monies to purchase an iPad. I know, I've been obsessing about this for awhile, but with finances becoming secure it looks like this will absolutely become a reality in less than a week, barring some sort of catastrophe. Project Gutenberg has been beautiful music in feeding my ancient book hunger. I've downloaded about 65-70 books from them, free, and pdf'd them to transfer to ye olde iPad upon its purchase.
OH ALSO. I have found the most awesome case. It's simple, black, and just a cover (no bells or whistles at all) but I also had it engraved with the United Federation of Planets logo XD Yes, I am a huge nerd. But it's fairly obscure and only the true die-hard nerds will comprehend, and ergo fangirl with me. It's like a giant divining wand of TNG retardation. LOVE IT.
I have also become obsessed with Scentsy as of late. Particularly ebaying Scentsy, as a means of curbing both my Scentsy addiction and my ebay addiction. Having extra money does not help this at all, by the way. I'm just like YAY I CAN BUY ALL OF THESE FRAGRANT THINGS. I have a small one for work that arrived Monday night, but as my extra scent (Central Park Pralines, which is pecan-y and syrupy sweet) didn't come until last night I won't be able to torture show it off to coworkers until Monday. Sigh.
Work is amazing. I have the best bunch of coworkers imaginable, my boss is the nicest guy ever, and I am finally making a paycheck without the burden of credit card debt. Although HELLO STUDENT LOANS. I can't wait to start taking a chunk out of those.
I can't think of anything else particularly interesting. I attempted Nanowrimo this year, got about 2k words, and then realized I have hit my activity threshold. My little dog + grad school + housewifely duties + work all tugging at my arms means I need more arms, which of course is physically impossible. So Nano will be on the back burner this year, but maybe this time next year my schedule will be a little less impaired.
It's supposed to be COLD and possibly rainy today, but we are going to buy Christmas presents for little brother as he is going to New York soon to be a fabulous actor again. He was in South Carolina but stopped into wee fair Abilene to be the Snow King in the Nutcracker and an Arabian (well, THE Arabian) in Lubbock's production but then he is trekking off to notoriety unknown. Someday he will be on Broadway so we have to give him these little bits of Christmas early, you know. Being well versed in the art of melding one's holiday around work I can comprehend.
So. I hear the rustlings of impatient Pom in the other room, and thankfully he has been quiet thus far, but I probably shouldn't tempt him further. I hope everyone has a safe and most excellent Thanksgiving weekend! I promise I will think about attempting to update more :P
Life has been so busy. And so good!
Today feels like a great day. I am determined to make this a great week!!
Tonight when I get home from work I'm cleaning house. Literally, I mean, and not some sort of nagging wifey type of ranting ordeal. Srsly, our little house is a minor pigsty and I am going to knock that out once I get home.
I love my husband! :) He took out the trash this morning and that is good stuff!
More later, as it's time to go BACK TO WORK!
"I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately."
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