Um, hello? I'm right here.
I can read your comments but especially I can read between the lines.
You think your life as a mother has been wasted. Gee thanks. I can see that in black and white. You wish we hadn't been born so you could have been some grand thing. Well guess what, you're not; you are our mother, so stop being so in denial about it and man up and actually pretend like you love me more than people who aren't actually your kids.
I mean Jesus H. Not one peep of encouragement or good vibes from her earlier this week when I was freaking out and having panic attacks and yet Precious C can angst about not procreating after being married for a month and it's the got-damn Cuban Missile Crisis or something.
I don't think I'm angry, per se. Just really irritated that no one else is calling her on how damn hurtful she's been/IS being.
I don't hate her. I just wish she would just come out and admit she doesn't like being our mother so I can check in to therapy and get that shit over and done with. My poor sister is living at home with this person who has said, verbatim, "procreating is overrated". Even if it's joking, I know in her heart she's not and I think that's what hurts most of all, that she's trying to make a huge laugh out of the situation. I feel like she doesn't love me enough to take the shit seriously and admit to me she was wrong.
Gee thanks, Mom. Just when I think things are getting better with us you have to keep poking around the good ol' kitchen cutlery and hope something sticks.
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