goodbye little dusty miller

I feel punched in the face. I knew it had to happen eventually but I just feel damn well punched in the face.

PetPet and BrenRat, I am so sorry. I come home and start bawling and you give me little kisses and I just feel really sad.

The doc said it was indeed a stroke and when she'd left for a minute I petted your head and you looked at me as I said goodbye and made little happy noises at me like you understood and I hope you know how much you tear me up. I'm so, so sorry that I couldn't reach in your tiny gray head and pull out the bad part and make you better again.