"...no dead end in sight..."

a thought or three

I think it's funny how some people will never change, or evolve, or realize/want to be more than what they are. Touting preconceived notions trying to change the minds of others based upon bullheaded spouting of what they perceive as facts, not elaboration or the fleshing-out of ideas, and hypocritical in their own right. Believe what you want to, sure, but don't shut out the rest of the world and what it may have to offer. I have one or two specific people in mind, but varying degrees of this can apply to us all at at least a few points in our lifetimes. I know I'm not immune.

But isn't human existence about keeping your mind open to new and different thoughts and experiences? Isn't that ability to make cognitive leaps what defines us as the human race?

I look back over the years and I laugh at what people have pigeonholed themselves into. The irony.

Grow, experience, live, breathe.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

*

The smell of the stamp at work is like horseradish. There's another one that reminds me of high school, of fourteen girls getting into jazz shoes and curlers all over the place. Somebody nicked that one from my desk to squirrel it away someplace far away from my island [cave] in the office and it annoys me. They're out; I may have to reclaim it.

I also hate when people demand things of me immediately. I can't start one project without finishing another. I think that innate inability to multitask will ultimately spell my doom. I try so hard but alas, it's a muscle I can't seem to flex.

I get to go to the tax office tomorrow morning to exchange a rather important piece of paper for another rather important piece of paper. My head hurts.

*

I have started an experiment wherein I drink my vegetables and fruits when I can. Today was lovely, an orange pineapple blend with notes of tomato [tomahto]. The bottle is nicely shaped, also. Not too heavy for my tired hand.

Wax, wax. I need an Advil and a shot of strawberry banana and eight solid hours.

*

We have tins of Christmas chocolates and it's etiquette that keeps us from passing them out. It looks like, again, like 2008, we will spend the greater portion of 2009 eating red and green chocolates that taste vaguely of peppermint. Gross.

*

And last but not least, I wonder if I am materialistic for wondering where that silly package is. Surely they've sent me something. Do I care? Do I want something from them because it's loot, or because it's the gesture, the inkling of hope that they might have thought of me. I thought of them. I picked out their gift specifically because I thought it would be something nice, and delicious, and wouldn't create clutter.

This has all been out of order, but alas, good night.

All-American Rejects' cover of "Womanizer"

OH. MAH. GAW.

Just...awful. And yet...apropos. *sigh

holidays!

We went out into the middle of nowhere for our first Christmas. Almost five hours of driving later, we were at this adorable little cabin in the middle of the woods, where we spent three days lounging, cooking, and spending quality time together. 

So on Christmas Day I decided to take a nature hike!: 

This was right before I slipped on some massive green moss and fell in the water -_-;

Further down the path.

Leaves!

The view up the mountain from the top of the path.


The ground here was covered in slate chips.

This was the river at the bottom of the trail. Or maybe it wasn't at the end of the trail, but it was where I ended up when I got lost x.x;

The colors in this photo do not do it justice. So beautiful!!

Can I say, also, what a feat this was? I am terrified of snakes in the wilderness. I mean like where every tiny cricket or jumping bug rustling around in the leaves made me freak out a little. But after awhile I just started to enjoy the scenery. The sky was clear and perfect, the temperature was nice, and when I got home there was nothing else to do but cuddle with my pookie and relax.

I finished two books this weekend. Two books!! It's so amazing. I never get to read anymore. Also, played Sims until my eyes started bleeding, roughly, and the in-ground jacuzzi was fantastic.

Good first Christmas. I approve! And I hope next year is just as good. Now we are back at home and Rudie is curled up on the couch with me. The waterway is choppy - we drove through thunderstorms and a cold front on the way back from Oklahoma and it's been windy - and there are tiny whitecaps out there. It sounds nice, the sound of the water.

Jay built a Go board last weekend that we left here at the apartment because it is a huge piece of heavy polyurethaned fiberboard, so perhaps we will play some Go tomorrow! I'm bad at it though. So we shall see.

I hope everyone's Christmas was as awesome as ours! I got a lot of good wishes on Facebook on my birthday too.

working out~

omfg. SO DEAD NOW K THX. and we are totally doing this again tomorrow o.o;

soooooooooooooooooo gross!!! I hate it. Hate it!

Somebody, quick! Recommend me some workout music!

Home Sweet Home candle

It's supposed to smell like home, like Christmas growing up but that's the smell of lonely fake snow-frosted pines hacked off at the ankles and put on display in Calloway's last weekend. I walked through them and closed my eyes, and sighed a little. It's not bad, this grown-up version of Christmas, but it's not the same as homemade cinnamon rolls on my birthday and the smell of cold, dark tree fronds on the mantel as I come down the stairs in the morning. Not bad, just different.

It's 33 degrees outside right now. I'm going to go work out in probably around twenty minutes, if I can muster the gumption, and hope it helps my insides. I was given this illogical theory and it makes me scoff, and yet whatev. They don't talk to me very often, and perhaps it's better that way because I don't get things like "why don't you try working out [justification: it helps me; read: I'm trying to sneak in ways to let you know you need to stop feeling fat/make you feel fat]" sprung on me on a daily basis. I'm just like, I don't need to keep hearing this from you when I have a wonderful husband and a good life-type thing going on. Sure, just let me stop being fat. That fixes everything, right? Pfft.

They are going to be in Florida, apparently, and they themselves have yet to tell me. I've heard it from one of my aunts and my grandmother, but never from either of my parents. Again, no one in my family communicates with each other. Either that, or they don't care that I don't know firsthand. My dad will get to spend time with my cousin, probably, and do all the fun things with him that he would do with a son. Because he has a perfectly good daughter, you know, but you can't take a daughter golfing or anything manly like that. OH WAIT, yes you can, stupid. Only he doesn't, because it's easier to pretend to be parents to people who don't know who you are on the inside. And yeah, maybe that relationship makes me a little bitter, because I know he tries every once in awhile but he just doesn't get it. Never has understood me or who I am, and I'm pretty convinced neither of them ever will.

He got my mailing address because he said he's sending me something for Christmas. Well, all right. I wonder had I not sent an e-mail notification to them about their present if they would have even bothered. Whatev. My phone battery died Friday night and the charger's at work. Not that they'd call, mind you. But I'm going to plug it in tomorrow because I'm going to call to cancel the overpriced cable and we can just buy bloody TV on DVD. That's a whole other post.

I love winter but I hate this part, this stupid Christmas season, the way it makes me feel sluggish and stupid and just no good. Maybe I work myself into such a state. Grah, I don't know. I'm just glad we will be out of TX for this ridiculous consumer holiday so we can spend some time alone.

Plus my birthday's on Wednesday. Woohoo.

I'm yawning already. Yuck. Time to load up my Nano and get my butt out in the tundra.